A friend of mine is a really judgmental person, particularly to the homosexuals of the world. That said I am sure it does not stop there. I used to see eye to eye with him and would over play my "homophobia" (which I never had). As I grew up and I made friends with anyone that was just a good person.
My standards of a good person are vague and what I really mean is just a good person to hang out with. Your Uncle Dave has a lot to do with this mentality. I used to have to be the guy to break the silence when my friends were around. I used to be the guy that was irritated by inactivity and usually I would break that quickly.
Sitting in just silence with someone is a way to learn about them very quickly. My insecurity would break the silence every time when I was with my friends. Your Uncle Dave always carried a certain swagger and confidence with him. He could care less who would come to hang out, as long as they were able to just chill and "be cool."
Your Uncle Dave and his friends could just sit in silence for half the day. I could always tell who Dave was not particularly fond of, the ones who could not sit still and were talking. Those friends of his would not last long and I would not see them around anymore.
Something else I learned from your Uncle is he has no cares of who you are, what you are, where you come from, how rich or poor, how gay or not gay, what crowd you are apart of, who your parents are, he just wants have good people surround him.
For the longest time I was such a judgmental person. I would judge everyone, with all the above questions, I made my life miserable with that. I soon went to a religious college that recruited me to play baseball. I was 15 hours away from my family and two semesters from growing up.
Prior to my experience at the religious college most would consider me a devout Catholic but very open-minded. Now this school was not Catholic which made me excited to learn about another religion and culture of people.
Soon after I got there, my beliefs were compromised. I met several other people that were not on the baseball team there. I would befriend only a few, one in particular had a great impact on me.
His name was Matt if I recall correctly. He and I would battle back and forth about God, I learned so much from him and I think he learned from me too. He would take the side of "there is a God", I would take the opposite. Our conversations were just that, a conversation, we never got to an argument phase, nor did they ever end bitterly. We always made a point to chat about every couple weeks or so. I was making a good friend. Matt understood I was the opposing point of view and if he were at one point to tell me I was wrong, then the conversation would be left at that and so would the friendship.
As you will soon find out, I am not much of a person that likes to get talked at, especially on the receiving end of a persuasion.
For that entire school year Matt and I became good friends. On the last day of the semester I went in to my dorm room to get one more item I left behind and Matt would soon follow. I thought it was just a goodbye but was soon corrected by a barrage of why I was wrong and why I need to be reborn. I learned more about him in those two minutes than I had the entire year. Our friendship was over and we never spoke again.
He sat there over the past year and judged me. My opinion was worthless to him because he had not listed just was patient enough to let me finish and speak.
From that point on I have made a conscious effort to not be a judge of another. As I write this now still fully mindful of that. I learned from your Uncle that stuff a like that does not matter. From that point I have been a happier person. I believe my friendships have become fonder.
My standards of a good person are vague and what I really mean is just a good person to hang out with. Your Uncle Dave has a lot to do with this mentality. I used to have to be the guy to break the silence when my friends were around. I used to be the guy that was irritated by inactivity and usually I would break that quickly.
Sitting in just silence with someone is a way to learn about them very quickly. My insecurity would break the silence every time when I was with my friends. Your Uncle Dave always carried a certain swagger and confidence with him. He could care less who would come to hang out, as long as they were able to just chill and "be cool."
Your Uncle Dave and his friends could just sit in silence for half the day. I could always tell who Dave was not particularly fond of, the ones who could not sit still and were talking. Those friends of his would not last long and I would not see them around anymore.
Something else I learned from your Uncle is he has no cares of who you are, what you are, where you come from, how rich or poor, how gay or not gay, what crowd you are apart of, who your parents are, he just wants have good people surround him.
For the longest time I was such a judgmental person. I would judge everyone, with all the above questions, I made my life miserable with that. I soon went to a religious college that recruited me to play baseball. I was 15 hours away from my family and two semesters from growing up.
Prior to my experience at the religious college most would consider me a devout Catholic but very open-minded. Now this school was not Catholic which made me excited to learn about another religion and culture of people.
Soon after I got there, my beliefs were compromised. I met several other people that were not on the baseball team there. I would befriend only a few, one in particular had a great impact on me.
His name was Matt if I recall correctly. He and I would battle back and forth about God, I learned so much from him and I think he learned from me too. He would take the side of "there is a God", I would take the opposite. Our conversations were just that, a conversation, we never got to an argument phase, nor did they ever end bitterly. We always made a point to chat about every couple weeks or so. I was making a good friend. Matt understood I was the opposing point of view and if he were at one point to tell me I was wrong, then the conversation would be left at that and so would the friendship.
As you will soon find out, I am not much of a person that likes to get talked at, especially on the receiving end of a persuasion.
For that entire school year Matt and I became good friends. On the last day of the semester I went in to my dorm room to get one more item I left behind and Matt would soon follow. I thought it was just a goodbye but was soon corrected by a barrage of why I was wrong and why I need to be reborn. I learned more about him in those two minutes than I had the entire year. Our friendship was over and we never spoke again.
He sat there over the past year and judged me. My opinion was worthless to him because he had not listed just was patient enough to let me finish and speak.
From that point on I have made a conscious effort to not be a judge of another. As I write this now still fully mindful of that. I learned from your Uncle that stuff a like that does not matter. From that point I have been a happier person. I believe my friendships have become fonder.
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